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Saturday, December 28, 2013

The seasons

the whiles The sun smiles The birds sing The wind plays with the tree tops once more I slang you The flowers bloom The clouds makes castles The bullet grows green over again I unwrap you The sun frown The birds disappear out-of-door The wind baffles to rive the leaves from the trees once more I see you The flowers let on The clouds start to cry The grass turns brown again I see you The sun comes out slowly from behind the clouds The birds start to fly back The trees start to grow back once more I see you The flowers grow The clouds makes shapes The grass grows green Again I see the seasons change The birds sing .....and? we all ,know that birds sing, they john sqwark/ wax melodious/call/speak/all sorts of things what do they sound standardized in your imagination? Again I see you - wherefore the inverson here?. If it doesnt serve a utilisation dont do it You com e out a little self-conscious and therefore develope a chorus in again I see you - its a lack of sureness that you dont need. You atomic number 18 good becoming without it. I genuinely deal the flowers cycle and that of the grass, but the clouds argon over-doing it a bit. You have real talent.
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Play with a hardly a(prenominal) poetic forms, this is very smashed to your others, and please keep indite Interesting transitions, and -being a poet myself- Im good at see deeper meanings. one thing that didnt sit well with me was the quick transitions from season to seas on. They were unspoilt a little too fast. ! Also, you kind of switched from an object lens of the eye form of speech, to a personal form of speech. The phrase Again I see you is personifying the seasons, yet the rest of the poem denotes that the seasons are objects. This, I know, is hard to separate, but its a must for a poem to be effective. Keep writing your poetry. Ill always be there to give an honest rating. I agree with PhantomPhan on his opinion, and I would like to add that is was good, yet somewhat short. more(prenominal) effect from the seasons would be nice also. Overall a capacious poem. If you requisite to get a full essay, order it on our website: OrderCustomPaper.com

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